We all attended Eli’s recent graduation at the World Arena, where he received his Master’s in Psychology. It was a long, but exciting day. The crowd was so big we were seated three rows from the top. We noticed this sign posted on one of the high beams:
DANGER!
-Gravity-
Not Just
A Good Idea
It’s the LAW
This week in Primary, a little 4-yr old girl gave the closing prayer. A leader whispered to her what to say and from my vantage point at the piano I could hear the intended words of the adult as well as the mangled version of the child. Absolutely nothing the adult said came out of the child’s mouth in tact. Now, this is not unusual, I mention it because of the very last plea of the prayer which was meant to be “Bless us to go home safely.” Instead, the child said, “Bless us to go home to safety.” What a profound difference.
It gave me a start because I have only recently realized the value of safety at home. I’m not speaking of physical safety, although that certainly is important. I’m thinking of emotional safety. Our homes should be the place where our needs are respected and our desires at least validated. It should be a place where our opinions are heard, our ideas have merit, and our dreams are nurtured. Our homes should be the safe place to sort through our feelings, to make mistakes, where we have a chance to stretch and grow and learn what works and what doesn’t. When there is safety at home, we are safe to be our truly wonderful selves and gain the confidence to share that self with those outside.
In a home that is not safe, there is criticism, mocking, insults and put-downs. There is anger and punishment that is much too harsh. There is fear and insecurity. It is hard to thrive in an environment that is not emotionally safe. It is the relationships in the home that make it safe, or not. Safe relationships, those characterized by loving kindness, encouragement, support and compassion, create a safe environment. I think that creating and maintaining safe relationships should be the highest priority in every family.
And so, “Amen” to that profound prayer, “Bless us to go home to safety.” Bless us all…
A few weeks ago I was with a special ed boy in another second-grade class at another school. It was “math day”, meaning the classes rotated between rooms for 30-minute sessions of fun math games using dice and dominoes. Fun stuff. The air was filled with math facts, but also an undercurrent of love-triangle intrigue. I caught wind of the facts a little at a time. Davage was planning to fight Tyler at recess for the attentions of Mia. Riddick, Davage’s best friend, was planning to protect him, although Tyler was intending not to protect himself, thinking it to be futile anyway. I did what I could to tone down the escalating animosity, pointing out that no girl was worth it, in these modern times Mia should choose herself and would probably be turned off by their fighting anyway, and they’d both be in trouble (no stranger to either one of them—I’d been around them both enough to be sure of that much). I suspected this was mostly all talk, and that nothing would really happen at recess, but I alerted the teacher as to what was coming down, since I would not be with the class then. When the class came back from recess, 15 minutes late, I wondered what had happened. The whole class was miffed. But all talk of fighting had ceased as everybody’s “miffness” was directed toward Jhalissa, the girl who ignored the bell and kept on playing, costing them all their afternoon recess. Perhaps that was the best outcome of all, uniting the feuding boys against a common enemy. I just hoped they didn’t plan to gang up on Jhalissa after school…
