safely dead

My paternal grandfather was a mortician and I had been exposed to death through our visits to my grandparents who lived in the upper two stories of their funeral home in Idaho. Our favorite game as children was “King and Queen”, played in the casket room with my aunt and uncles. Even with all this, I really had not experienced much in the way of death. My maternal grandmother died when I was 18, and though I mourned and missed her terribly, it hadn’t been unexpected. So when my boss, in his mid-fifties, got cancer, it was a new experience for me. I saw a different aspect of death.

He kept up his practice as best he could at first, although as he got weaker, he’d call me in to steady and strengthen his hands for such things as extractions. He was sure he could beat this disease. When he was hospitalized for surgeries and treatments, other dentists donated their services to keep the practice going. I walked the block to the hospital during my lunch hour or after work every day, to keep him apprised of his patients and everything going on at the office. Those were happy times, actually. He’d often have an old friend there visiting him and it was a delight to hear their reminiscings.

Even as things got worse and he was sent home, he still had hope and faith that he would come out on top. I reported to him about his practice every day. Then one day he didn’t seem interested at all and I could tell that his mind was turning from his worldly concerns to those of eternity. He died shortly after that.

We mourned his loss for he was truly a great man. But I knew he was finally ready to move on to the next phase of his existence. For him, death became a welcome release from the pain of mortality. He had lived well, and he had endured enough. Death, too, is a part of life. And while we enjoy the living part of our existence, we need not fear the next step, for there is joy and triumph in a life well-lived and a measure of relief in being “safely dead”.

To close, I share a verse by another friend and mentor, written shortly before his death several years ago:

SEND A MOURNING DOVE

by Conrey Bryson

Send a mourning dove to mourn for me

And let all the people smile.

Let the mocking bird on the cypress tree

Keep singing all the while.

Let the rosy finch, from the chapel eaves

Continue his merry tune

‘Til the whip-poor-will from a desert shrub

Has welcomed the rising moon.

With these I have lived, and these I have loved

Through the long and happy years;

Now bid me farewell with a merry note

And a few soft, loving tears.

Oh thou who gavest these joys to me,

And the wisdom to know their worth,

Let me bear them on through the glorious veil

As a gift from thy wondrous earth!

Send a mourning dove to mourn for me

On a blessed, sacred morn:

Let the rabbits run, and the squirrels play,

And the blue jay urge them on.

Send a mourning dove to mourn for me,

And let him perform with style,

As a sign to open up Heaven’s gate

To a loving Father’s smile.