Mother's Day

This day is celebrated with flowers, poetry, and sweet gifts made by little hands that want so much to show Mom how precious and valued she is. For moms, at least for me, it is a time to reflect on my labors and do some self-evaluation. What kind of mother am I? Am I the kind that makes cookies and tells stories, the kind that plants gardens and plans picnics, the kind that catches lizards and climbs trees or shoots hoops and sings silly songs? Am I the kind of mom whose children will rise up and call me blessed? Am I what my children need to thrive and grow into the wonderful people they are meant to be? I have decided that it was Heavenly Father that paired us up, and so yes, of course, I am the kind of mother my children need. And, just as true, my children are the very ones I have needed to help me become who I am.

The next question becomes, have I done my best? I’ve done the best I know how. I remember the panic I felt when my oldest son was “suddenly” graduating from high school and going off to college. I said to a friend, “I still have things to teach him, he’s not ready to leave and be out on his own!” She just laughed, “Of course he’s ready!” and she pointed out his fine character traits, evidenced by his accomplishments, the very things that would see him into capable adulthood.

I am sometimes haunted by the mistakes I’ve made over the years, thinking I’ve certainly done irreparable damage to my children, or at least failed them somehow. My brother tells me, in jest, “Your older four were such nice children, what happened to these last two, did you just stop caring?” Perhaps it seems so, I have evolved and grown as a mother over the years. Maybe I have finally learned enough about mothering that I can relax and really enjoy the experience. I finally understand when to step in and when to step back; I’ve mastered the art of being involved without being intrusive, I know how to help without facilitating dependence, how to support and encourage without being controlling. I’ve learned to set limits without being punitive; how to prioritize needs, digging into the important things and how to just let some things slide. I know when to laugh and when to cry, when to work and when to play, when to be stern and when to show forth an extra measure of compassion and understanding. I know how to forgive, what to forget and what to remember. I have learned how to give and receive unconditional love. And I have learned that the mistakes that haunt me have been long-forgotten by my children.

I am now transitioning from the role of mother into that of grandmother, the mother’s ultimate reward. I believe that being a mother is the hardest work in the world, but it has brought me the greatest joys possible in life. So beloved mothers, know that you are the most important person in the world to your little ones; someday they will realize it. For now let yourself enjoy this grand adventure, it really will be over too soon. And do enjoy this day of pampering, you’ll have plenty to clean up tomorrow when life get back to normal!