gingham afghan

spring?

A "spring" storm moved in last night, leaving us a nice surprise during our spring break. But we remember the same thing happening last year. Gotta love the Rocky Mountain highs!

signs of spring

Yesterday the highs hit the sixties under a clear, vivid blue sky. Today the schools in the area have closed because of a severe winter storm expected today, bringing possibly 5”-7” of snow to the city (more in the mountains). Groundhog notwithstanding, spring is here.

At school yesterday, the teacher whispered to me, “Spring is here,” as she handed me a note, scribbled on a scrap of notebook paper and decorated with shamrocks, which she had confiscated from a third-grader.
“To Paige, You can’t even guess how much I love you. Can we date? You are the only one that I love. I love you. I love you. I love you. Evan”
I was very touched by Evan’s sincerity and the courage it took to express and share the deepest feelings of his tender heart for the girl he loves. Yes indeed, spring is here!

Pi Day

My daughter reminded us of another obscure holiday to celebrate each March, Pi Day (3.14). And just how does one celebrate Pi Day? Why, with pie, of course!

Tim Tam Slam

A few weeks ago, my children introduced us to a fun delicacy called a Tim Tam Slam. Tim Tams are an Australian sandwich cookie made of two malted wafers with a fluffy icing in between and covered with a thin layer of chocolate. (Pepperidge Farm also makes them). To make a Tim Tam Slam, prepare a mug of a hot beverage (we like hot milk). Make the Tim Tam into a straw by biting off two opposing corners of the cookie. Draw the hot milk up into the cookie “straw” and as soon as the milk hits your mouth, pop the whole cookie inside (the hot milk melts it) and SLAM, heaven in your mouth!

Google “Tim Tam Slam” for some fun videos!

Ark Day

A friend reminded me that today is an obscure holiday called Ark Day which celebrates the landing of Noah’s ark on dry ground after the flood. “How do we know that?” you ask. Because when they landed, Noah opened the ark and commanded the animals, “March forth!”

And just how does one celebrate Ark Day? By eating animal crackers (two by two), of course!

deeper still

Imagine a relationship in which two individuals enjoy the deepest levels of emotional intimacy, where there is total and complete safety and trust, and consequently, total and complete openness and understanding. I imagine there would be few, if any, misunderstandings; any differences would be appreciated for providing a broader perspective; all ideas and opinions would be respected and considered. I imagine that there would be communication and understanding with just a touch, a knowing look that expresses much more than words ever could. In that type of atmosphere there would be no limit to what those two individuals could accomplish together, no limit to the joy they could experience, together. The energy of their relationship would magnify everything they do and spill over onto everything they touch, everyone they know. Their “oneness” would take on a God-like quality, much like that enjoyed by The Father and The Son. Not only is this the deepest level of communication, it is the truest kind of love, the love of heaven. This level is called “creation.”

Thank you for sharing February’s “tribute to love” (extended version) to honor Valentine’s Day and lovers everywhere!

communication

In his book, Making Love Last Forever, Gary Smalley shares Dr. Gary Oliver’s insights on the five levels of communication.

In the first level, we speak in clichés: “How are you?” “I’m fine.” Just as easily spoken to a stranger as to a loved one, yet very superficial as far as intimacy goes.

In the second level, we share facts: “It’s supposed to snow today.” “So & so won the election.” Information exchanges, but still on a fairly safe level.

At the third level, we state our opinions, “I really enjoyed that rock concert.” “I sure don’t like the policies of the president.” Sharing opinions can be risky, for others may not appreciate or share our opinions, which may lead to a conflict.

The fourth level is when we say what we feel, “What you said really hurt me.” “I feel angry when you don’t listen to me.” Opening ourselves up this way is definitely risky; our feelings define who we are so when our feelings are dismissed or ridiculed, our esteem takes a hit.

The fifth level is where we share our needs, “I need some quiet time alone.” “I need to spend some time with you.” We share needs with an expectation that those hearing them will understand us and at least try to accommodate us out of their love for us. If those expressed needs are tossed aside, the relationship suffers. We doubt that we are loved.

Moving to deeper levels of communication requires safety. If we try to share feelings with a specific individual but find it is not a safe place, we become reluctant to share feelings again, preferring to move to the safer level of “opinions.” If that, too, proves to be unsafe, we will speak in “facts” or “clichés” only. Imagine a friendship, marriage, or parent-child relationship having any kind of emotional intimacy if the communication seldom moves deeper than the “cliché” or “fact” level. On the other hand, in a safe, loving environment, where individuals can freely share, not only opinions, but also their deepest feelings and needs, the individuals share an intimacy that both nourishes and strengthens each of them. Not only can they be their complete and true selves, they can open the door to an even more powerful level of intimacy and communication.
More tomorrow…

not...

Love, true love anyway, seems at once elusive and mysterious, ethereal and unattainable. And yet it is very real, very possible. There are those who try to pass off counterfeit love as the real thing, so lest one be deceived and disappointed, know well what love is not:

Love is not controlling, punitive, cruel, demanding, demeaning, selfish, judgmental, hurried, angry, pious, rough, dismissive, oppressive, desperate, or indifferent.

Any of these things in a relationship lowers the level of emotional safety within that relationship and when one does not feel safe, one cannot feel loved.
More tomorrow…