Love is Compassion

One would think that understanding and compassion go hand in hand, that understanding someone else would naturally result in an outpouring of compassion for that person and what they are experiencing, what they are feeling, what they need.  In a loving relationship it does work that way.  But in some relationships, understanding breeds contempt, and contempt breeds resentment.  Consider a wife who is experiencing some anxiety over pending childbirth and turns to her husband for some comfort and reassurance.  Although he understands, he responds with, “It can’t be that bad; women have been doing it for centuries, I don’t want to hear about it.”  Consider the husband, coming home devastated because he lost his job, and his wife’s response is, “Well it wasn’t a very good job anyway, at least now you’ll be home to help with the kids more.”  When a person is met with contempt instead of compassion, have they really been understood?  They will become reluctant to seek understanding from their partner again, less likely to give compassion in return.  Their marriage suffers because its safety is compromised and acceptance diminished.  Compassion is a good barometer of a relationship, for if compassion wanes,  it is likely love has waned, too.