Love is Humility

Humility in a relationship manifests itself in many ways.  Listening is an act of humility for it tells the other person that their opinions, experiences, and perspective are all just as valued as our own.  I know of a husband and wife who attended a dinner with several other “important” couples.  He consistently disagreed with everything his wife said during the conversation until finally he whispered to her, “Don’t talk anymore, no one is interested in what you have to say.”  Humility is also accepting another’s counsel, for it shows that we are open to learning from them, that we are teachable, rather than someone who already knows it all.  Those who know it all have a high and mighty attitude and tend to demand that others explain themselves or justify what they do; but they are reluctant to accept another’s reasons as adequate because they would do things differently.  They would take a different/better route, they would buy it at a different/cheaper store, they would do it in a more efficient way (usually more convenient for themselves).  Humility is owning our own mistakes and taking responsibility for our own actions.  Consider a husband who tells his wife, “The fence is crooked because YOU sent our teenage sons out to help me install it.”  “If you didn’t want the flowers pulled up with the weeds, YOU shouldn’t have planted flowers that look like weeds.”  “If you didn’t want that dish broken then YOU shouldn’t have kept it in that cupboard; that’s why I dropped it.”  Consider the wife who knows money is tight but spends anyway because it’s on sale and says, “I don’t like living with a budget, YOU’ll just have to find a way to pay for it all.” “YOU’re the reason I’m overweight.”  “YOU make me so angry!”  Love cannot flourish in the midst of the blame game.  In reality, humility is a necessary ingredient in all the attributes of a loving relationship, and both partners need a healthy dose of it.