Feelings

How many parents have told an injured child, “That didn’t hurt,” or a distressed child, “Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” ? How many children learn to distrust their own feelings or to believe feelings are wrong? How many wives are told to “quit crying and get a grip” or “childbirth isn’t that bad” or “you’re too sensitive”? And how many wives learn to hide their feelings until they just don’t feel anymore? How many men are afraid to show tender emotions because they’ve been taught it isn’t manly?

I have come to appreciate that a big part of who we are is our feelings. Feelings make us human. Feelings come from the deepest depths of our soul, revealing nuances of our character and passions. Feelings coupled with intellect give us a full perspective to make decisions (“I will tell you in your mind and in your heart” not OR your heart). Doing something because it seems right logically, even though it feels like a big mistake is just as foolish as throwing caution to the wind just because it feels good.

To ignore your feelings, repress them, discount them or deny them is to deny a big part of who you are. Instead we need to learn the value of our feelings; acknowledge them, analyze them, explore them and accept them for what they are. Although we have to be wise about how we handle our feelings, we need not be ashamed of them; they are not right or wrong, they just are.

For too much of my life I have been afraid of my feelings, I have not understood their purpose, what to do with them. But now I believe that knowing who you are, being your own person, authentic, has everything to do with respecting your feelings. It is the only way to become your highest self and become open and free. Happy is the person who respects their own feelings and who also knows how to respect the feelings of others.