Charity is kind

Several years ago, a woman wrote to an advice column to share this story:

I was away at college when I met the man of my dreams. We dated a few months and I was ecstatic when he asked me to marry him. My mother came to town one weekend and I was anxious for her to meet my sweetheart, so the three of us went out to dinner that first night. When he left the table for a few minutes I asked my mother what she thought of him. I reviewed all the things I found so attractive, his good looks, his nice job, etc. When I finished, she had only one thing to say, a question, “But is he kind?” I hadn’t even thought about it; I hadn’t even noticed. But I paid attention after that and discovered that even though he had many good and desirable qualities, kindness was not one of them. I called off the engagement. A few years later I met another man of my dreams. He, too, had many good and desirable qualities, and I was happy to report to my mother, “Yes, he is very kind.” And we have been happily married 22 years now.

Kindness takes so little effort but pays huge dividends, for both the giver and the receiver. Kindness is never wasted, especially when shown to children and strangers. Kindness is itself a service, and kindness validates service. More on that tomorrow.