Several years ago I was challenged to write down my idea of what a marriage relationship should be. It was an interesting exercise, one that would be good for couples to do together as well as for individuals to do alone, married or single, to help them know what is really important to them. This is what I came up with, to help you get started:
MY REGARD FOR HIM:
-I want to adore him, be thrilled in his presence, be proud to stand by his side
-I want to respect him, be in awe of his amazingness; I want to love to look at him, to watch him
-I want to enjoy his company, whatever we are doing; I want to miss him when he is away
-I want to delight in his conversation, look forward to sharing thoughts and opinions
-I want to work well together, to cooperate, to feel a synergy
-I want to share interests, activities, goals
-I want to please him; inspire greatness in him; motivate him to be his genuine, best self
-I want him to be my hero, my knight in shining armor
-I want to look forward with joyful anticipation to a lifetime together, and eternity together
HIS REGARD FOR ME:
-I want him to adore me, to be in awe of my amazingness; I want to be beautiful to him
-I want him to cherish me, I want to be important to him, to matter to him
-I want him to understand/respect me, my needs, my wants; I want what is important to me to also be important to him
-I want a voice; I want to share in decisions; freedom to express opinions, vent annoyances
-I want him to listen, care about me; I want a safe place for my emotions; I want compassion, sensitivity, emotional connectedness/intimacy
-I want freedom to be real, authentic; I want “wings to fly”; I want him to inspire the greatness that is in me; I want to love the person that I am when I am with him
-I want tender affection, lots of it; and I want sex that means something wonderful because all of the above is there in abundance
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